Saturday, April 18, 2009

A Wise Principle For Dealing With Difficult People

A friend of mine on Facebook posted a link today that I found to be quite useful:
How to Stop Difficult People from Zapping Your Energy and Happiness . Fortunately, I do not have to deal with too many difficult people in my life but for those times when I do run across a porcupine I will now be prepared! Well, at least in theory! (There is the minor detail of actually applying this new info.)

I recommend you read the original post but in a nutshell, this is what I learned from Brian Vaszily:

What zaps our energy and happiness more powerfully and rapidly than anything else is our reaction to difficult people. Difficult people are not responsible for zapping our energy and happiness. We are in control of ourselves. We have a choice in how we respond.

He recommends that we make a list of the difficult people in our lives and then think, of all things: What about this person is worth emulating?!

Vaszily goes on to say: "It is our reactionary egos that are prone to completely trash those who seem to have a negative influence in some way on us. Our egos are primitive; if somebody strokes them, that somebody is good, and if somebody kicks them, that somebody is bad.

This lingering reaction creates the notion of “dislike,” or hate, which blocks our eyes, mind and heart from focusing on anything but the negative. But by focusing on the negative in anyone – “I really don’t like that person” -- we are doing by far the most damage to ourselves.

Honing in on what we don’t like in people (or in situations for that matter) won’t change them, but it does make our lives considerably less peaceful and sucks away our energy and happiness. It becomes a habit that perpetuates the self-damage. Plus it makes us considerably less attractive to others."

So there you have it. Now we know what to do, lets just do it!

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